Just Call Me Jay.

The recovery process has been going well. I’ve been getting my energy back slowly, which is great ! I can’t wait to start going back to the gym and doing physical activity and just working out - something I took for granted and miss terribly ! But I have also been experiencing some pain too. Right where my incisions are. I’ve heard it’s because of the healing and I’ve also been feeling that they are spreading apart. The surgeon said that was something I might experience and that the sensation will eventually go away. I know I’m suppose to take it easier, but it’s very hard. I’m so used to doing so many thing, going out, it’s weird not being able to do very simple thing. I know it’s a sacrifice worth making - it just sucks at the same time. Hopefully in a week or two I can start going back to my old routine - slowly. 

To the people that have recently became followers - if you guys have any questions or want to know more about my personal experience before, during, and after surgery feel free to ask questions :)

Oh your welcome. Well my process is very different from majority of women. I’m under my parent’s health insurance and our insurance company is with Kaiser. Since they have their own team of plastic surgeons, I didn’t have to deal with insurance approvals and all that. My physican just had to refer me basically. I never knew my true actual bra size but my estimate is roughly around a large E to a full F. As of now, I’m not too certain of my size now because of the swelling but it looks like I am a full D. But my surgeon never told me an actual size - he could only estimate too. That’s because they wanted to take enough breast tissue, fat tissue, and skin where it wouldn’t be in critical danger. He only knew that I would be half the size I was before. If you want anymore information about my experience, feel free to message me more :)

I definitely have to be more careful about my physical limitations. I want to do so many things but unfortunately I cant. I get so tired just from walking. So I definitely have to take it easier on my body. But I am really glad that I got to spend time with some good company. Hopefully after my post surgery appointment today with my surgeon, things will get easier. I can’t wait to be more fully recovered - I can start having the adventures I’ve been wanting and planning since the beginning of the year. I can start going back to the gym :) I can finally live up this summer <3

The physical change - I am still adjusting to. Right now, I feel like I have an out-of-body experience. I don’t believe I’m in MY body - I feel like it’s someone else’s body I’m looking at in the mirror. I know with time, I’ll accept it but it’s still there. But what’s crazier about the physical change is the emotional change. Girls who do have a big chest or just any physical insecurity will understand this. As much as I have denied it before, there is/was an emotional baggage with it. And even though they are gone, the emotional ties are still there. It’s something I definitely have to readjust with and just … redo my thinking process.

So yes - I am currently in recovery mode. But more ways than one, surprisingly. 

Definitely had alot of progress this weekend. Friday the assistant doctor to my surgeon took out the drains, which wasn’t painful at all. I had a look at them and was in complete and utter shock. They are so small … well for me at least. It was crazy - to want something for so long and finally have it. Ridiculous. I was also surprised I was able to walk all the way from the car to the doctor’s office. It gave me hope that I will have a fast recovery. But after that some pain kicked in and I unfortunately had to take some of the Vicodin. Pain was getting unbearable and I had to stay in bed ALL DAY. not fun. The weekend was better. I had visits from Jasmine Tapales, Genesis, Andi, Janessa,  and TORI (I’m really happy she’s back and even more proud she graduated from UC Berkley!). My strength definitley progressed, I was able to walk further and further. I just get tired and weak easily, which I guess is normal since I barely just got out of surgery. 

I hope and pray for a speedy full recovery where I can get back to my normal routine. :)

Its done. I actually went through with my plans of getting a breast reduction. Right now Im in pain, but not as much as I imagined. So thats good news. Hopefully recovery will be faster than expected so I can get back to my daily routine. Im currently at Kaiser now where Ill be getting the drains out. The doctors and nurses were very suprised I didnt have to stay overnight and even more that I wasnt nauseous or vomitting. More hope that my recovery will be a speedy one. I am really thankful and appreciative for the surgical team and nurses yesterday. They were so nice and took really good care of me. Thank you Dad and Kristyn for taking care of me at home and making sure Im comfortable. And I definitely appreciated the visits from Jasmine Skiles, John Bob, Jasmine Tapales and Jessica Feng. Thank you guys for coming over last night <3

And thank you everyone for each of your prayers and support. I truly am blessed for such a strong support system <3<3<3

I can’t believe it. 9 years of wanting for some long. 2 years of planning and consulting with various doctors. 4 months of consultations, appointments, pre-opts. And it all comes down to this - tomorrow. Tomorrow is the big day. I can’t believe time has gone by so fast. I remember when I wanted this surgery so badly, beginning when I turned 12 years old. When all my insecurities began with my chest. It was so hard and limiting. I never shared how much shame I had because of them. I have always loathed the attention they brought to me. The stereotypical comments I would get from others. I hated how people would always talk about them, I just never showed how much it bothered me. But what I hated the most was the physical pain I’ve endured for the past 9 years. The excruciating back, shoulder, and neck problems. The limitations I had from sports and physical activity. The limiting clothing I was able to wear. It’s been hard. But that all changes tomorrow. I have so many emotions I’m feeling - excited, nervous, scared, anxious, ecstatic. But the feeling I’m feeling the most - hopeful. Hopeful for a better, healthier future.

• Finals week. I take mines early because of the surgery. Once I’m done, I will be finished with community college. I’ll have my AA in Interdisciplinary Studies Emphasizing on Social Science. Wow. from August 2009 to now. I’ll be transferring to CSUF in the fall. I’ll be a Titan. It’s crazy.
• SURGERY. The big day is almost here. Thursday. I can’t believe it. Time has flown by so fast about this. I’ll write more on the issue later. But it’s crazy how it’s almost here. 3 days to go.
• moving forward. It’s time. A chapter … well more of a novel has been continuing to go on for far too long. I don’t know how long its going to take but I will have some answers and I will answer questions. Get everything out in the open. Figure things out. And go my own way.

Let the week begin. Starting with this all nighter.

My last blog about my weight loss journey was on February 25, 2011. At that point I lost 15 lb. I wanted to lose another 15 lb. by the end of the Lenten season. Well, I know it’s a little past Easter but I have lost a total of 32 lb since the beginning of the year. I can’t believe I lost that much in a total of 4 months. My goal in the beginning of the year was to lose 30 lb. by May and I’m a month early. It’s crazy what exercise and diet can do for you. I’m definitely motivated to lose a few more pounds in the next 6 weeks.